7.21.2016

10 Things Not to Say to Someone Trying to Conceive


Look, I get it - you mean well. And we all know it's awkward. And unless you've been through it, we're not expecting some life-changing profound words through this time. But just as there are certain things you wouldn't say to a loved one at a funeral, or to anyone going through any sort of tough time - there are definitive things you should never utter to someone who is trying to conceive. 

At the end of the day, it's none of your business. If, however, someone does trust you and makes it your business, make sure you brush up on the do's and dont's of what to say so you don't make them regret that trust.

{These obviously stem from things that people have said to us over the years. Please don't take offense if you were one of the people who said one of these things - we were all learning together.}

1. "There's always adoption!"

Really? Then why didn't you adopt? Because you wanted the joy of having your own child? Golly gee. We'd like to adopt because we can - not because we have no other choice.


2. "You should be thankful! Now your lifestyle/banking account/body/etc. won't have to go through any changes!"

I would rather throw away my entire lifestyle, wipe clean my banking account {which you nearly do through infertility treatment}, attend a lifetime of weight watchers meetings and more - just to have a baby.


3. "Have you tried everything?"

Nah, we gave it one good romp and it didn't happen so we said "bygones!" I haven't been poked, prodded, bounced from specialist to specialist, or exhausted our savings account. Nope, none of that.


4. "I bet you'd wish you'd have known so you didn't waste so much money on birth control, condoms and anxiety-ridden pregnancy tests over the years!"

Yes, tell me more about how much money I wasted on NOT having a child, while I pay doctor and infertility bills out the ying-yang now. If I had a dollar for every time someone uttered this line, we could have bought me a new uterus by now.


5. "Well, how long have you all been trying? They say it could take up to a year!"

Ohhh, well that comforts me then. Phew, I was so worried - we just started yesterday! I thought for sure I should have been showing by now...


6. "It'll happen. Just be patient."

Oh, is that all it takes? Patience? SCREW you and your patience. Oh, sorry - hormones ;-)



7. "Ya know, my best friend's cousin's daughter's kindergarten teacher went through this EXACT same thing it and only took them two rounds of IVF, so just hold on and it'll happen!"

No WAY! Your insanely distant acquaintance is 30-years-old, has hyperthyroidism, doesn't get a menstrual cycle, has been trying for years, works out 6 days a week, eats as clean as possible, doesn't have a properly functioning pituitary gland, AND is married to my husband?! Wow, we're like twinsies - it MUST be the same diagnosis.


8. "It'll happen."

Yes, so my very expensive doctors tell me. But are you a doctor? Do you know my case inside and out? Do you have a crystal ball? Because that's the easiest, most general passe thing to say. But, thanks for the comfort! {Another favorite: "it'll happen"'s common cousin - "It'll happen when it happens." So wait, it won't happen before it happens? Or afterwards? I was banking on before.}




9. "Ugh, you can have mine! They're driving me insane!"

Don't tempt me. And meanwhile, go hug your kid - the child I would kill to have.


10. "I know how you feel, we tried for three months!"

Just walk away. Go. Now. Because this fake smile is going to fade in 3...2...


Look, I get that you MAY understand the timing element - the longing for, wishing for, waiting for. But you could never understand the shots, the hormones pumped through your body, the nearly daily appointments, the questions, the emotional burden, the strain on your relationship, the negative thoughts in your mind - none of it. Not unless you've gone through infertility treatments - you just can't possibly know how it feels. But, come here, I'll shoot you in your gut with a needle, just to give you a taste...

Let people live, love and grieve at their own pace, without added pressures from outdated traditional family timelines. You wouldn't ask a grieving widow when she's going to get married again—have the same respect for those taking their time to start a family.

XO,
Nik 

Psst... More infertility warrior stories:

http://creatingthesilverlining.blogspot.com/2016/06/how-weve-been-lying-to-everyone-for.html 

17 comments:



  1. Your fertility herbal herbs are really good it has brought solution to my
    fears and worries at last. I am going to refer people to you and l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in getting pregnant, will find your email.... drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com , and solution will
    come to them.

    1.Trying to get pregnant 2. Infection 3. Blockage from the fallopian Tube 4. Cyst from the ovaries 5. Unpleasant smell from the virginal 6. Irregular menstruation 7. Infertility for easy Conception.. 8. skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor 9. Fibroid 10.HIV AIDS Etc..

    Thank you and God bless you Doc climent Scott.
    drclimentscott@gmail.com contact him on his whats-app number here +2347036879479 +2347036879479

    ReplyDelete
  2. OUR herbal medication will cure any inch of your Fibroid, OK. When take our herbal medication to cure Fibroid and any other Infertility, You must not be going out very far from Your House because it will only be making you to visit toilet in passing out the Fibroid gradually …We also specialise in providing solutions in any of this spiritual gynaecology diseases affect human existence such as:
    1 fibroid, asthma, ALL STD, Urine tract infection, sinus infection, unexplain miscarriage, fibromyalgia.
    2 weakness of man organ
    3 infections of all kind (yeast infection)
    4 blockage from the fallopian tube
    5 cyst. From the ovaries,PCOS
    6 unpleasant smell from the virgina
    7 irregular menstration, menopause
    8 infertility for easy Conception.
    9.skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
    10.Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
    Simply contact the spiritualist PriestEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
    (No more adoption, with PriestEka your problem will solve and you will have your child with ease.
    Contact us at (dreka14demons@gmail.com) your solution home!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you need Personal Loan?
    Business Cash Loan?
    Unsecured Loan
    Fast and Simple Loan?
    Quick Application Process?
    Approvals within 24-72 Hours?
    No Hidden Fees Loan?
    Funding in less than 1 Week?
    Get unsecured working capital?
    Email us:urgentloan22@gmail.com
    Application Form:
    =================
    Full Name:................
    Loan Amount Needed:.
    Purpose of loan:.......
    Loan Duration:..
    Gender:.............
    Marital status:....
    Location:..........
    Home Address:..
    City:............
    Country:......
    Phone:..........
    Mobile / Cell:....
    Occupation:......
    Monthly Income:....
    Email us (urgentloan22@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Myself and my husband had been trying to get pregnant for 18 months before I was referred to Native Iyabasira fertility solution. We had no definite diagnosis of what was wrong and had become very frustrated. In November 2015 I was given a thorough reproductive health work up, I found out I had low progesterone, thyroid issues and a stomach issue which was affecting my ability to get pregant. This was a very thorough process involving dietary, hormonal and physical investigations and started the recommended treatments in Feb 16 2016. I was pregnant by april 16. I had a baby boy in march 2017. I was carefully monitored and mother Iyabasira was always available for me. I can recommend native iyabasira more highly so much so we are hoping to start trying for a second baby under her guidance.
    nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com contact number +441133201124

    ReplyDelete
  5. It was an awesome feeling when i found out that i am pregnant, i could not believe myself, after trying for 5 years now, finally i have been able to be called a proud mother of my baby boy. my husband is glad too, by standing by my side all through the struggles of infertility with strong feeling we will achieve this together. i am giving this hint to couples who are struggling with infertility, your time as come as well, with the help of Dr Micheal Casper pregnancy prescription medicine, herbal remedy, which i myself use to get pregnant with few weeks of using it as directed by the doctor. you can also have a child to call your own. this is the doctor contact michaelcasper@dr.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. An amazing testimony on on how i conceive, also cure from fibroid, i wonder why people still don't believe that roots and herbs are very essential and fruitful in different aspect, especially when you can't conceive and bear children. I am a living witness because I tried all I could to be pregnant but all to no avail, on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across testimonies of lot of women who Priest Babaka has helped with his native herbs to conceive. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life so I emailed Priest Babaka, and he told me what to do which i did, after which he sent me some roots and herbs syrup and gave me step by step guild lines on how and when to have sex with my man. I missed my menstrual flow within a short period of taking it, and the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. I am very glad to tell the world that I just put to bed a bouncing baby boy last week. Contact Priest Babaka for your own testimony via Email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com Or Facebook at priest.babaka

    ReplyDelete

  7. My name is Kimberly Nicholas from Sydney,I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is (Great Matatan powerful Spell ), he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 4 years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Sydney, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is:(  matatanspell@yahoo.com .  )  

    ReplyDelete
  8. Infertility can be caused by many factors including problems with egg or sperm production, genetic factors, age, or too much exposure to certain chemicals and toxins. Woman who fails to ovulate or have proper in the menstrual cycle must consult Gynaecologist in Punjab

    ReplyDelete
  9. I never thought that there will be a miracle on the internet until i came in contact with Priest Babaka, finally i made it with his help, with his spiritual power which was recommended by a lady in baby center he help before, i never believe it was real until i confirm it now because i have tried so many things to make sure i get pregnant but no luck, immediately i contact him. he did some spiritual prayers and send me a medicine which i took, i got pregnant three weeks after, and i now have a son to show. thank you so much priest and i recommend Priest Babaka for everyone out there that is willing to have a child of her own out there. contact him for help too he is real and powerful, i have confirmed it, contact him on email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka

    ReplyDelete
  10. my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody at baby center told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will conceive once we follow his instructions ,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Priest Babaka, Because his pregnancy spell cast and herbal remedy help us, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka if you are trying to have a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine

    ReplyDelete
  11. A Great thanks to Dr Ogedegbe i never believe that there still exist a real death spell caster after all this years of disappointment from the enormous spammers on the Internet who go about scamming people, until i was opportune to meet Dr Ogedegbe a real spell caster, through a close friend called williams who Dr Ogedegbe had helped before, when i contacted him with his email via dr.ogedegbe6@gmail.com i explain how my ex have been giving me problem in my marriage, she never allowed me a moment of peace, and i need to end it by killing her, and i don't want to make use of assassin because it will be risky so i needed to do it in a spiritual way that's why i decided to contact him, he assured me not to worry as i have contacted the right person at the right time, i co-operated with him and in less than a week my ex was dead, she slept and never woke up all thanks to Dr Ogedegbe indeed he's really a humble man. you can contact dr ogedegbe now via Email ogedegbe6@gmail.com call or add him on whatsapp +2348109374702 you can as well contact him for the following spell
    LOVE SPELL.........
    PREGNANCY SPELL.....
    LOTTERY SPELL....

    ReplyDelete
  12. An amazing testimony on on how i conceive, also cure from fibroid, i wonder why people still don't believe that roots and herbs are very essential and fruitful in different aspect, especially when you can't conceive and bear children. I am a living witness because I tried all I could to be pregnant but all to no avail, on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across testimonies of lot of women who Priest Babaka has helped with his native herbs to conceive. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life so I emailed Priest Babaka, and he told me what to do which i did, after which he sent me some roots and herbs syrup and gave me step by step guild lines on how and when to have sex with my man. I missed my menstrual flow within a short period of taking it, and the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. I am very glad to tell the world that I just put to bed a bouncing baby boy last week. Contact Priest Babaka for your own testimony via Email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com Or Facebook at priest.babaka

    ReplyDelete
  13. The greatest Joy in my life today is that i have been cured of Herpes by a Doctor called Dr. Ishiaku, I was infected with HERPES Disease in 2019, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so I was thinking how can I get a solution,so that my body can be okay. Until one faithful day as I was browsing on the internet I saw a testimony on how Dr. Ishiaku has helped people in curing Herpes and other diseases, quickly copied his WhatsApp number so I contacted him for a solution for my Herpes disease, So Dr. Ishiaku told me that he was going to prepare his herbal medicine for my health which he sent to me, luckily after 2week my Herpes was cured. Dr Ishiaku is well recognized as one of the best herbalist doctors in Africa, you don't have to be sad anymore or cry anymore on this disease when the cure is available. The medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT,there's no special diet when taking the medicine. He also cures ALS, HIV AIDS, HPV, DIABETES and lots more.


    For enquiries:

    E-mail: ishiakuherbalcure@yahoo.com


    What-sApp: +2348180828544


    ReplyDelete
  14. I want to testify to everyone on how my husband and i got children after our 5 years of marriage. we got married and we could not conceive a child we have been to several hospitals for checking and the doctors always say that we are okay that nothing is wrong with us, we have been hoping for a child, my husband was beginning to keep late night outside and pressure from the family for him to marry another wife and divorce me, i was always crying and weeping because i was loosing my marriage. so i visited my friend in Florida and she told me that she also have been through this same situation but she got her help of getting pregnant from a Herbal Doctor of fertility,, so she told me that she will connect me to the Herbal Doctor and he will prepare a FERTILITY HERBAL SOAP for me to have my own child, i spent 4days with her in Florida and we both email the Herbal Doctor and he said i should bring all my information to him and he said in 3days the Fertility soap will be prepared and he will send/ship it to me through UPS, after I used it as he instructed, so i waited and i went back made love with my husband and i conceive. so i am very grateful to the Herbal Doctor for his help and miracle that help me save my marriage. please for same help getting pregnant, contact him on zicoherbalhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. powerful herbal healer called Dr. voodoo who use his natural herbs to cure
    my HIV disease I suffered from 5years, but now I am a happy woman and i am
    free from this disease that has been problem to my living, after using Dr.
    voodoo herbal medicine within 1week i was diagnose negative, I will
    recommend Dr. voodoo to everyone reading this article because this herbal
    healer is capable to heal anything below.

    1. Diabetes
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. Lymphoma disease
    5. Conceived a child
    6. Fibroid

    Email Dr voodoo at: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com add Dr. voodoo on
    whatsApp: +2348140120719

    ReplyDelete
  16. BEST WAYS TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK AND RESTORED YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP FROM SORROW TO HAPPINESS.

    Help me thank Dromokpo@gmail.com for helping me get my ex husband back to me and my family. This great powerful spiritual man restored my sorrow to happiness. My husband left me some years ago for another woman and they both planned to get married. I am so surprised he just came back to me one cool afternoon on Saturday June, begging and crying for me to take him back and to forgive him for breaking up our marriage home and forsaking me and the children. Dr Omokpo is a true spiritualist savior . He brought my husband back”

    if you have any worries or you have any problem in your marriages or relationships you can reach him via: dromokpo@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. Getting rib of Herpes virus wasn't easy, I came across Dr voodoo on how he
    has cured so many people from herpes and other illness so I decided to give
    him a try, now am permanently cured using the natural herbs medication and
    cleansing supplement sent by Dr voodoo no more herpes, contact Dr voodoo
    WhatsApp number +2348140120719 also e-mail him at:
    voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete


 photo copyright.jpg
envye template.